I am finding words quite inadequate to share about my home-birth. The entire process, from entering the care of Doran at Blessing God’s Way to the actual birth, was a beautiful outpouring of God’s grace in our lives.
Through out my pregnancy I felt safe and secure in the care of Doran. This was partially because of my trust in the Lord. Knowing He alone numbers the days of His creation gave me great comfort. But, the care I received also played a role in the security and safety I felt. I knew that my midwife loved me and my pre-born daughter. We were more than just another patient. That is what makes the midwifery model of care drastically different than the OB model of care that I have received.
During the actual birth, I was pretty relaxed the whole time (especially in comparison to other births). I stayed in my room and was literally surrounded by whispers of prayers and encouragement from my husband, Doran (midwife), Kim (other midwife), Jodi (student midwife), and Melissa (my doula). The entire time we had soft worship music playing and while I didn’t always hear it when I did focus in on it I always heard the most encouraging lines. I was never told that I couldn’t do something or that my body was broken but instead was encouraged and empowered by my birth team continually. Those words don’t make it sound as amazing as it was, truly. Being in a comforting, familiar environment made a world of difference in my birthing experiences.
I can’t say Zoe’s birth wasn’t hard or painful because it was. What made her birth different was my response to the pain. I wasn’t dealing with the pain from a viewpoint of fear and helplessness. Eliminating fear from birth allowed me to cope with the pain of birth. As I said above, I don’t know what the words are to describe the difference this made. I can only say it was a huge difference and a wonderful one.
The hardest part of birth for me was not the pain. Yes, it was painful but my biggest issue was exhaustion. I lacked endurance. I know I could have been stronger and in a better position for birth if I had made better decisions through out the whole birth. I wish I would have been in Doran’s care from the start instead of from 28 weeks onward. I am now really motivated to make better decisions with my eating habits and regular exercise now so I will be better prepared if I am blessed with another pregnancy in the future.
Things I want to remember about Zoe’s birth:
~Josh was able to catch Zoe (with the assistance of Doran).
~Minutes after Zoe was born Josh was able to read part of Proverbs 31 to her. It was really important to us that some of the very first words she heard (outside of the womb) were God’s Word.
~After she was born we got to hold her and snuggle until the cord stopped pulsing. Then we cut the cord. The assessments of her were done on my bed right in front of me.
~After she was assessed Doran helped me into the shower and into clean clothes.
~The entire birth team worked together to clean our home while we bonded with little Zoe. They made sure everything was back in place, laundry started, clean sheets on the bed, etc. Aside from the new baby it was hard to tell a home-birth even took place.
~Emma was amazing. This experience really bonded us closer. I’m so glad she saw that birth is hard but amazing. She was really impressed! She helped so much with making food for everyone and just doing whatever was needed of her.
In close, I love homebirth. I especially love my mid-wife. You couldn’t pay me to have a hospital birth now (unless it was medically needed of course). I am forever thankful to our Lord for bringing me an amazing God-fearing midwife. I pray that if I am blessed with more children all of them can be grown and born in the care of Blessing God’s Way.